My First Passover Seder

My roommate Ben and I have lived together for about two and a half years.  We were “Craigslist randoms,” as we like to tell people, meaning that we found each other through a classified ad and a simple twist of fate.  Beyond the apartment itself, Ben and I share a number of interests.  We are both lovers of quality food, and sacrifice our time and money to make our eating experiences special. 

One thing Ben and I do not share is our religious background.  While I was raised Roman Catholic (though perhaps loosely so), he was raised Jewish.  Though neither of us identifies with our respective religious backgrounds on a personal level, the holidays and traditions die hard.  Further, as I understand it, Ben’s parents are relatively devout Jews.  So, Ben observes all of the major Jewish holidays with them. 

For whatever reason, though Ben and I have been amiable, well-matched roommates for over two and a half years, I have never received an invitation to any of the Jewish high holidays.  Needless to say, when I received an invitation to Passover this spring, I immediately said yes.  Not only would this be my first Passover with Ben’s family.  It was also my first Passover ever.  Despite reading about the celebration and asking Ben a whole host of questions (What does your family serve? What can I bring? How long is it? What is the appropriate attire?) I could not quite picture what this holiday would be like.

I arrived at Ben’s parent’s house (which is gorgeous, by the way, and just a couple of blocks off Rittenhouse Square Park) at 6 o’clock.  After rushing home from class, I had agonized a bit about which dress to wear.  Striking a balance between nice, spring-like, and subtly conservative is difficult when you have only a handful of dresses in your closet.  I settled on one, grabbed the orchid I had picked out for his parents (my thinking being that plants are lasting, spring-like, and generally welcomed regardless of religion or tradition), hailed a cab, and managed to arrive just on time. 

 His family greeted me warmly.  Though I had met Ben’s twin brother twice and his brother-in-law once, everyone else was a new face.  I was introduced to his parents, his sister and older brother, his wide-eyed nephew, and half a dozen or so family friends.  For the next hour, we waited for others to arrive, exchanged small talk, and the family posed for a couple of photos.  Around 7 we sat down to dinner.  The table was set beautifully.  Each place setting was equipped with plates and silverware, a glass each for water and wine, and a prayer book (left).  I sat between Ben and his older brother, both of whom were helpful with the traditions and joked frequently about the near-chaos of holidays.

We started by reading from the prayer book. As is typical with the Hebrew language, the book was bound on the right hand side.  Inside, it told the story of Passover.  Ben’s parents led the ceremony.  It was a combination of readings, songs (all in Hebrew), and prayers.  I did not sing any songs, as I do not know Hebrew.  However, the readings were much more inclusive for me.  We went all around the table and took turns reading pieces of the Passover story.  Ben’s mom periodically chimed in extra little bits of information about the Jewish people and the Passover tradition.  Ben’s dad was more lighthearted and joked quite a bit.  All throughout, his siblings made silly comments about traditions they found odd or unnecessary. 

When we arrived at the part that describes the Seder plate (Ben's family's was very modern, pictured to the top / right), the dinner became even more interactive.  Each item was described and its symbolism was explained.  The bitter herbs (in this case, parsley—not actually all that bitter) were passed around and each of us dipped them in salt water.  We also all passed around a plate of sliced, hard-boiled eggs.  Ben forced some Gefilte fish onto my plate as well (I am all for cultural openness, but grey, congealed fish product is not something I like very much).  The family had various types of Matzo (some of which was identified as “designer matzo” from Metropolitan Bakery). 

When the prayers were done (about 40 minutes after sitting down), the true meal began. Of course no leavened bread was served.  Ben and each of his siblings had made a dish.  There was a chicken dish, lamb, potatoes, salad, and even more Matzo.  His mom explained that brisket is more typical, but their family had grown tired of it.  For dessert (for which I had almost no room), there was both lemon mousse and flourless chocolate cake.  After dinner there were a couple more prayers.  These prayers went much faster.  By this point everyone was full, sleepy, and tired of sitting. 

I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to share this experience with my roommate and his family.  It was truly unlike any ceremony I had ever attended.  I loved learning about the Jewish Passover traditions, eating the food, hearing the prayers and being part of it all.