My roommate Ben and I have lived together for about two and
a half years. We were “Craigslist randoms,”
as we like to tell people, meaning that we found each other through a
classified ad and a simple twist of fate.
Beyond the apartment itself, Ben and I share a number of interests. We are both lovers of quality food, and
sacrifice our time and money to make our eating experiences special.
One thing Ben and I do not share is our religious
background. While I was raised Roman
Catholic (though perhaps loosely so), he was raised Jewish. Though neither of us identifies with our
respective religious backgrounds on a personal level, the holidays and
traditions die hard. Further, as I
understand it, Ben’s parents are relatively devout Jews. So, Ben observes all of the major Jewish
holidays with them.
For whatever reason, though Ben and I have been amiable,
well-matched roommates for over two and a half years, I have never received an
invitation to any of the Jewish high holidays.
Needless to say, when I received an invitation to Passover this spring,
I immediately said yes. Not only would
this be my first Passover with Ben’s family.
It was also my first Passover ever.
Despite reading about the celebration and asking Ben a whole host of
questions (What does your family serve? What can I bring? How long is it? What
is the appropriate attire?) I could not quite picture what this holiday would
be like.
I arrived at Ben’s parent’s house (which is gorgeous, by the
way, and just a couple of blocks off Rittenhouse Square Park) at 6
o’clock. After rushing home from class,
I had agonized a bit about which dress to wear.
Striking a balance between nice, spring-like, and subtly conservative is
difficult when you have only a handful of dresses in your closet. I settled on one, grabbed the orchid I had
picked out for his parents (my thinking being that plants are lasting,
spring-like, and generally welcomed regardless of religion or tradition),
hailed a cab, and managed to arrive just on time.
His family greeted me
warmly. Though I had met Ben’s twin
brother twice and his brother-in-law once, everyone else was a new face. I was introduced to his parents, his sister
and older brother, his wide-eyed nephew, and half a dozen or so family friends. For the next hour, we waited for others to
arrive, exchanged small talk, and the family posed for a couple of photos. Around 7 we sat down to dinner. The table was set beautifully. Each place setting was equipped with plates
and silverware, a glass each for water and wine, and a prayer book (left). I sat between Ben and his older brother, both
of whom were helpful with the traditions and joked frequently about the
near-chaos of holidays.
We started by reading from the prayer book. As is typical with the Hebrew language, the
book was bound on the right hand side.
Inside, it told the story of Passover.
Ben’s parents led the ceremony.
It was a combination of readings, songs (all in Hebrew), and
prayers. I did not sing any songs, as I
do not know Hebrew. However, the
readings were much more inclusive for me.
We went all around the table and took turns reading pieces of the
Passover story. Ben’s mom periodically
chimed in extra little bits of information about the Jewish people and the
Passover tradition. Ben’s dad was more
lighthearted and joked quite a bit. All
throughout, his siblings made silly comments about traditions they found odd or
unnecessary.
When we arrived at the part that describes the Seder plate (Ben's family's was very modern, pictured to the top / right),
the dinner became even more interactive.
Each item was described and its symbolism was explained. The bitter herbs (in this case, parsley—not
actually all that bitter) were passed around and each of us dipped them in salt
water. We also all passed around a plate
of sliced, hard-boiled eggs. Ben forced
some Gefilte fish onto my plate as well (I am all for cultural openness, but
grey, congealed fish product is not something I like very much). The family had various types of Matzo (some
of which was identified as “designer matzo” from Metropolitan Bakery).
When the prayers were done (about 40 minutes after sitting
down), the true meal began. Of course no leavened bread was served. Ben and each of his siblings had made a
dish. There was a chicken dish, lamb,
potatoes, salad, and even more Matzo.
His mom explained that brisket is more typical, but their family had
grown tired of it. For dessert (for
which I had almost no room), there was both lemon mousse and flourless
chocolate cake. After dinner there were
a couple more prayers. These prayers
went much faster. By this point everyone
was full, sleepy, and tired of sitting.
I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to share this
experience with my roommate and his family.
It was truly unlike any ceremony I had ever attended. I loved learning about the Jewish Passover traditions,
eating the food, hearing the prayers and being part of it all.